Missing My Mother - This is Hard 4 Me to Handle!

Some days feel heavier than others. You wake up with plans to take care of yourself, to step outside, to do something simple like getting your hair or eyebrows done. But then, the weight of loss and the pressure of daily life keep you rooted in place. It’s been almost three months since losing a loved one, and the pain still hits like a wave, pulling you under. The house feels different, the spaces once filled with memories now echo with absence. Bills pile up, important dates approach, and the motivation to move forward feels distant.

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This post is about those hard days, the struggle to keep going, and the small steps toward hope and healing. If you find yourself in a similar place, know you are not alone.

Somedays Just Feel Heavier Than Others

You wake up with good intentions. You tell yourself you're gonna get out of the house, maybe get your eyebrows done, get your hair done, run a few errands, or just do something for yourself. But then reality hits. The grief hits.

The stress hits. And before you know it, you're still sitting in the house trying to figure out where the motivation went.

It's been almost three months since my mom passed away, and some days it still feels unreal.

I still have moments where I look around the house and expect her to be here. The house feels different now. Quiet. Empty. Sometimes it feels like the walls are holding memories that won't let go.

On top of that, life keeps moving.

Bills still need to be paid. Appointments still need to be made. Important dates are still coming whether you're ready for them or not. And honestly? Some days I just don't feel like doing any of it.

Living With The Reminders

One of the hardest parts about grief is that reminders are everywhere. Sometimes. I walk through the house and I remember exactly where things happened. I remember the day everything changed. I remember the fear, the confusion, and the heartbreak. There are days when just looking at certain rooms brings back emotions I wasn't prepared for. I've thought about rearranging furniture. I've thought about changing things around. I've even thought about moving. Not because I don't love the memories, but because sometimes the memories feel so heavy. If you've ever lost someone, you probably understand exactly what I'm talking about.

When Everyday Tasks Feel Impossible

Grief doesn't just affect your emotions.

It affects your energy.

It affects your focus.

It affects your motivation.

Something as simple as going to the bank can feel like climbing a mountain.

Paying bills can feel overwhelming.

Answering emails can feel overwhelming.

Even getting dressed can feel overwhelming.

People don't always realize how much grief impacts your ability to function day to day.

Lately, I've been trying to remind myself that I don't have to do everything at once.

If I pay one bill today, that's progress.

If I make one phone call, that's progress.

If I handle one task on my to-do list, that's progress.

Small steps still count.

Some Days I Just Feel Stuck

I'm gonna be honest.

There are days when I don't want to get out of bed.

There are days when I don't want to shower.

There are days when I sit in the house and feel completely disconnected from everything.

Not because I don't care.

Not because I'm lazy.

But because grief is exhausting.

Sometimes your mind and your heart are carrying more than your body knows how to handle.

On those days, I try to give myself grace.

Maybe all I do is take my medication.

Maybe all I do is brush my teeth.

Maybe all I do is sit outside for a few minutes.

And sometimes that's enough.

My Birthday Is Coming Up

My birthday is coming up soon, and I'm not gonna lie—it feels different this year.

Usually I'd be excited.

I'd be planning something.

I'd be looking forward to celebrating.

But this year is different because my mom isn't here.

This will be one of those major milestones where I'll have to experience life without her physically being present.

I know there will probably be tears.

I know there will probably be moments where I feel sad.

But I'm also trying to remind myself that she would want me to keep living.

To keep growing.

To keep chasing my goals.

To keep moving forward.

Even when it's hard.

Learning To Take Things One Day At A Time

One thing grief has taught me is that healing isn't something you rush.

You can't put grief on a schedule.

You can't tell yourself you'll be "over it" by a certain date.

Healing happens one day at a time.

One moment at a time.

Some days are good.

Some days are hard.

And that's okay.

Right now, I'm focusing on the things I can control.

Taking my medication.

Working on my business.

Updating my website.

Writing my blogs.

Making videos.

And reminding myself that every small step matters.

If you're going through grief, depression, loss, or just a difficult season in your life, I want you to know you're not alone.

Keep going.

Even if your progress feels slow.

Even if all you did today was get out of bed.

Even if all you did today was make it through another day.

That's still progress.

And sometimes, making it through the day is enough.

❤️

• Steph